All We Need is Love…and Vulnerable Leadership!

In keeping with the title of this post, it’s time for a little vulnerability. As if our work wasn’t emotionally taxing enough already, add the future of this country’s democracy to the list of things keeping us awake at night.

Take a moment to drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, relax your face. We’re right there with you. And while we’re at it, let’s all acknowledge the strength it’s taken to keep pushing through, to keep busy, and drive our missions forward while dealing with stressors we might not even recognize we’ve been enduring. If no one’s told you today, you are doing great.

At this crucial time when our votes will determine the next leader of this country, we think it’s important to talk about the role that leadership plays in unsettling, and honestly downright scary, times like these. For those of us who are in leadership roles, this is our opportunity to lean into humanity, honesty, and vulnerability.

In his book The Culture Code, Daniel Coyle shares the secrets of highly effective leadership. This text is on our TPC client recommended reading list and you’d be surprised (or not) to find that none of Coyle’s secrets have to do with graduating from a top university, bringing in the most money, or being the most outspoken person in the room. Instead, Coyle declares that highly effective leaders build a space where individuals feel safe – where failure is accepted as part of the work, and folks feel comfortable sharing new ideas and taking risks.

To put it bluntly – highly effective teams embrace vulnerability. 

When leaders embrace vulnerability, it opens the door for growth, learning, and authentic connection. Take it from Hannah, who opened the door to this connection herself, without even realizing it:

In one of my previous leadership roles, I started doing something that came to be known as “Feelings Friday” with my team. It wasn’t anything formal – it literally consisted of me picking up some snacks from Trader Joe’s on the way to the office, unloading the goodies in shared spaces,offering them to my team members and simply asking “How are you today?” “What’s on your mind?”

The fact that I, as team leader, initiated the conversations was important because it lessened the fear that they would be penalized for spending time socializing instead of working. Like “hey, my boss is asking me this question, so I have to answer, right?” It took a few rounds of seasoned popcorn and Joe-Joe’s to get peoples’ full buy-in, but once we got going, it was something really special.

The best part? The conversation never really revolved around work. This wasn’t a catch up on our projects for the week. This was genuine connection time. We talked about our plans for the weekend, our family dynamics, favorite new restaurants and movies, and oftentimes, the state of the world. It helped me learn a lot about my team members, about their passions, hopes, and struggles, and I hope they learned the same about me. “Feelings Friday” was a space for all of us to connect as human beings and it became something that we all looked forward to. Recently, a colleague shared with me just how important those “Feelings Friday” chats were to her experience at that organization.

There are a bunch of other great examples of vulnerable leadership like Brene Brown’s work with U.S. Special Forces, through which she highlights that even for elite soldiers – people that we think of as extra tough – vulnerability is KEY to their success as a team.

The bottom line? Teams thrive when their leaders make space for their humanity; when they see the person first, not just the work output.

For the next two weeks, emotions are going to be high. People are not going to be at their best, and that’s okay. If you’re a leader, this is your opportunity to show up for your team. Create that space for folks to be vulnerable, to talk about their real emotions, and to share yours too. Here are a few things we recommend:

• Acknowledge the big feelings your team members may be having – whether through email or an in-person chat, let them know that you see them.
• Offer flexibility and support for well-being. This could include flexible working hours, sharing wellness resources, or making space for mental health days.
• Create spaces where staff can come together for activities like “Feelings Friday” – mindfulness exercises (a few deep, cleansing breaths before all staff meetings perhaps), team-building activities, or informal chats.

Whatever makes sense for your organization, ensure that you are taking the time to be present with staff. We promise, it will make all the difference.

And, as a leader, PLEASE make sure to take care of yourself too! Fielding others’ emotions can be a lot to handle, so make sure that you’ve also got a network of people around you that you can count on. We’re in this together.

As always, we’re here for you, and we’re rooting for your success!

-Team TPC

P.S. If you can, vote early! And if you can’t, make sure you’ve got a solid voting plan. Get your friends, family, UPS driver, dog sitter, hairdresser…(you get the idea) together and make sure you know where your polling place is and how you’re going to get there. As Michelle Obama said…